Last week I wrote a piece about the lessons I learned after being one year away from social media and this is sort of part 2. Many of my mixed feelings towards it came from reading some scientific articles, watching testimonies of people’s experiences on YouTube, general talks with friends and family, and also from watching these documentaries.
1) Citizenfour (2014)
In this film, journalist and filmmaker, Laura Poitras, tells the story of Edward Snowden, the famous whistleblower who revealed how the American government was heavily surveilling not only people from outside the USA but also as its own citizens. I believe it was after this documentary that people started covering web cameras on their laptops and also being more aware of what they share online. Citizenfour served as inspiration for Snowden, a later fictional movie about his story.
2) The Social Dilemma (2020)
The Social Dilemma focuses on the side effects of social media in our day-to-day lives. Director, Jeff Orlowski, decided to present the theme by exploring two narratives. The first uses the regular documentary language with some psychic specialists and “tech innovators” explaining how a tool, for instance, the like button, was created with a positive intention but turned out to become fatally destructive in more serious cases. The second follows the fictional lane and follows up the story of a few characters and can very explicitly show how a social media algorithm can work. I think in terms of eye-opening effect this is probably the most powerful film on the list.
3) The Great Hack (2019)
The Great Hack brings a more criminal and legal perspective of the subject. Karim Amer and Jehane Noujaim, the directors, do a great job explaining how a service that seems to be free is actually highly costly. It exposes a little bit the case of tech-media-marketing companies that take users’ data to manipulate information. And these types of companies normally acquire these data from social media networks that have it because their users are constantly uploading photos and videos and content about their personal lives. It can impact big social events from the presidential election of a country to police profiling at protests. Information is definitely power and can be certainly dangerous.
4) Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (2017)
To end on a lighter note, there’s Fyre, directed by Chris Smith. This is a very interesting and funny film that proves the following point, and that I have also talked about in last week’s article (read it here): what we see online is most likely not real. This is the story of a very exclusive festival that was endorsed by some celebrities and was massively marketed on social media, which turned out to be completely fake. This is a very atypical case, but it goes to show that when we see people advertising products, for example, that is to be taken with a pinch of salt. But not only that, perfect bodies, perfect skins, perfect lives… they don’t exist.
To conclude
All of this is not to discourage anyone from utilizing these products and services, neither to make anyone stop following their favorite influencers nor even to make people afraid of it using it for a professional reason (I do too). However, it is important to be informed, educated, and critical. Very critical.
And you, how do you use social media? Do you try to protect yourself somehow? Do you think about these things at all?
One time a
had an argument with a friend. The reason? Me, not being very careful with my cellphone,
which was not a lie.
I have lost
several phones in the past. And the one I currently have, although
long-lasting, has had its ups and downs. Mostly downs for the past couple of
years.
It has been
repaired more times than it probably should, and my friend told me I was just
“not careful enough”.
I used to
consider myself a very attentive and cautious person, especially with my
personal belongings and there I was confronted with another truth.
Past the denial phase, I began to examine the consequences, in case that scenario confirmed to be true. Was I making the same mistake over and over? And if so, how many times was I allowed to do so? Mostly, how could I stop the vicious cycle?
I once
heard, from a Buddhist friend, that one of the beliefs of Buddhism is that a
person will go through the same “problem”/situation until a lesson is learned.
It took me a while to even notice the repetition of a pattern. At last, I recognized what I was doing and began to hone my mind and senses to identify elements of a situation already lived.
I haven’t mastered it yet and and to be honest, I am far from it. I can say, though, I improved by about 40%.
It is actually one of the reasons why I write because once I materialize thoughts and learnings into words, they become more clear and real.
People
always say you are supposed to learn from your mistakes. And at a deeper level,
the connotation is that you are supposed to learn fast.
Learning is
often not fast, however.
Jesus
Christ, when asked about how many times people were to forgive others, answered
not only seven, but seventy times seven. If I should forgive others these many
times, let alone myself.
To me, it
means I am allowed to get it wrong as many times as I want and be forgiven each
time and not be judged by anyone.
Logically, it
does not seem smart to willingly engage in destructive behaviors just because.
On the other hand, it is comforting to know if I do, I should not be shamed by
it. Forgiving is a virtue.
I don’t know if you can tell yet, but I am all about personal growth and self-development. Whenever a less ideal situation takes place in my life I want to, at least, learn something from it.
How I am avoiding making the same mistakes more than once
I analyze the steps that took me to the error in the first place
Many decisions did not seem like a mistake to me at the moment I took
them. In fact, based on the knowledge I had at the time, they looked like
really good solutions.
Some time and a fair amount of distance from the happening could tell me
where I got it wrong.
In the case of my phone, I started noticing myself placing it dangerously in bad compartments or not being mindful of actions done moments before
I try to be present and realize when the same or very similar situation is taking place
Being mindful is indeed an essential trait to develop which not only helps in the “frivolous” and material world but most definitely in the deep, interior and very conflicting interior one.
Noticing the same elements seen before it is very empowering. Whenever I realize a déjà vu atmosphere, I feel like a sage who holds the knowledge of many domains and who is able to make a wise decision. Which, again, does not always happen.
Finally,
I take a different course of action (preferably a thoroughly thought one) than I did before
As Albert Einstein would say, “the definition of insanity is doing the
same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
What I like to do is watch, ask and read about others who have tried to
do the same.
It is in my nature to want to brave the world according to the way I see
it, but I find it very helpful and humbling to ask questions and even ask for
help when it is needed.
I end today’s article with a quote of the most unrelatable character of Game of Thrones, who became 100% relatable after saying:
Back in
2015, I was seating in my car in a parking lot when I saw this woman crossing
the street to go to work. Her outfit reflected her whole confidence and
self-control and for ten seconds I thought about getting the exact same pieces
of clothing.
A thought which was interrupted by this powerful and alleviating insight about self-worth, which Viktor Frankl talked about in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning:
“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”
Everyone is unique and exclusive. And yes, it is a relief to the soul the fact I do not have to be like someone else just because I never will.
At the same
time, this thinking inundates me with responsibility for my own life. Every
single aspect of it. And it makes all the difference.
There are also two certainties that come with it: ONE) I’m supposed to feel grateful for what I am and to the fact no one else can be like me and whatever I have to offer to the world only I can offer. TWO) I feel like there’s not much space for envy of others and self-pity since I can never be anyone else, but me.
And that takes
me to responsibility: If I cannot be like anyone else, I am supposed to find my
own self and this search for my path, for myself essentially, is my
responsibility.
By
acknowledging my uniqueness, I find my meaning, my “niche” and in a way it is
very freeing, especially considering the competitive world we live in.
It gives me
peace to tap into my true self, accept it and love it and from doing that comes
so many good things.
Frankl ends his book with one of the greatest insights I have ever stumbled across:
“This emphasis on responsibleness is reflected in the categorical imperative of logotherapy, which is: Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
Taking responsibility to another level
I,
personally, take this responsible thinking to a much higher instance.
The way the world and people affect me it is my responsibility and consequently, it is my job to deal with it. After all, I will only have myself to hold accountable.
What Frankl argues is that the way to handle this “burden”, that comes with the responsibility, is to give it meaning. Even pain and suffering have meaning.
“In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
So, my pain
and suffering are also mine to take care of. Likewise, for everyone. Therefore,
for me, it seems unfitting the blaming game.
This reminds me of a person I met during travels who had a hard time accepting this responsibility. Talking to her, I could feel the bitterness that surrounded her.
Because the aftermath of blaming the world is having a never-ending half-lived life. The world does not owe anybody a thing and if individuals don’t take action for themselves, no one will.
A note about Logotherapy
The school of psychotherapy fathered by Frankl, Logotherapy, is very inspirational to me. I thought about his words innumerous times this year. I tried to understand myself by this point of view. I highly recommend the study of it.
“Logotherapy tries to make the patient fully aware of his own responsibleness”
Lastly, I
will say that it might seem very daunting and overwhelming to face all this weight
and “the feeling of the whole world”, as said the Brazilian poet, Carlos
Drummond de Andrade.
But, as
humans going through the same experience, we can choose the empathy approach,
as well.
“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him.”
It is not
easy. But again, it is our responsibility.
What do you
think of all this? Are you ready to hold your life in your own hands? Let me
know!
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