Back in 2015, I was seating in my car in a parking lot when I saw this woman crossing the street to go to work. Her outfit reflected her whole confidence and self-control and for ten seconds I thought about getting the exact same pieces of clothing.

A thought which was interrupted by this powerful and alleviating insight about self-worth, which Viktor Frankl talked about in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”

Everyone is unique and exclusive. And yes, it is a relief to the soul the fact I do not have to be like someone else just because I never will.

At the same time, this thinking inundates me with responsibility for my own life. Every single aspect of it. And it makes all the difference.

There are also two certainties that come with it: ONE) I’m supposed to feel grateful for what I am and to the fact no one else can be like me and whatever I have to offer to the world only I can offer. TWO) I feel like there’s not much space for envy of others and self-pity since I can never be anyone else, but me.

And that takes me to responsibility: If I cannot be like anyone else, I am supposed to find my own self and this search for my path, for myself essentially, is my responsibility.

By acknowledging my uniqueness, I find my meaning, my “niche” and in a way it is very freeing, especially considering the competitive world we live in.

It gives me peace to tap into my true self, accept it and love it and from doing that comes so many good things.

Frankl ends his book with one of the greatest insights I have ever stumbled across:

“This emphasis on responsibleness is reflected in the categorical imperative of logotherapy, which is: Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

Taking responsibility to another level

I, personally, take this responsible thinking to a much higher instance.

The way the world and people affect me it is my responsibility and consequently, it is my job to deal with it. After all, I will only have myself to hold accountable.

What Frankl argues is that the way to handle this “burden”, that comes with the responsibility, is to give it meaning. Even pain and suffering have meaning.

“In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”

So, my pain and suffering are also mine to take care of. Likewise, for everyone. Therefore, for me, it seems unfitting the blaming game.

This reminds me of a person I met during travels who had a hard time accepting this responsibility. Talking to her, I could feel the bitterness that surrounded her.

Because the aftermath of blaming the world is having a never-ending half-lived life. The world does not owe anybody a thing and if individuals don’t take action for themselves, no one will.

A note about Logotherapy

The school of psychotherapy fathered by Frankl, Logotherapy, is very inspirational to me. I thought about his words innumerous times this year. I tried to understand myself by this point of view. I highly recommend the study of it.

“Logotherapy tries to make the patient fully aware of his own responsibleness”

Lastly, I will say that it might seem very daunting and overwhelming to face all this weight and “the feeling of the whole world”, as said the Brazilian poet, Carlos Drummond de Andrade.

But, as humans going through the same experience, we can choose the empathy approach, as well.

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him.”

It is not easy. But again, it is our responsibility.

What do you think of all this? Are you ready to hold your life in your own hands? Let me know!

Your friend,

Ana Zarb